Once there were three blind mice who lived in a museum。 One evening after the museum had closed and it was very quiet， the first mouse crawled into a huge suit of armor。
Before he knew it， he was lost。
“Help!” he shouted to his friends，“Help me make it though the knight!”
Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
Kid: Because of absence.
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
Kid: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
英语幽默笑话小故事：A Half-price Ticket(半价票)
"How much is the movie ticket?"
"Ten dollars, kid."
"I only have five dollars. Please let me in. I'll see it only with one eye."
eacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?
Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.